Spokesdawg rap lyrics

25 February 2009

(Said over the beats, Katie)
Okay, this one goes out to Peter Jenni
He saw this collaboration grow from 850 to 2500 physicists
Leading it through triumph and tribulation
Take it away, Klaus!

(Klaus Pretzel)
My time was marked by the Technical Proposal
We started out with several plans at our disposal
Only some could win out, other designs met their end
But Peter kept ATLAS from losing old friends
And an important decision in our constitution
Was whether votes would be proportional to contribution
We decided on one vote for each institute
To ensure that all decisions had science at their roots.
Go John!

[short beat break (4-count)]

(John Dowell)
Ninety-six to ninety-seven was my time
When we began detailed plans for subdetector design.
Groups from England, France and Italy took up the toroid job
And the magnet-building work was overseen by the MOB
Many groups were joining up and some others departed
Collaboration plans for Russia and the US got started
The pixels and the SCT were under much debate
And we made elections fair to each candidate

[short beat break (4-count)]

Chorus (Klaus and John)
We’ve been CB chairs, and we’re here to affirm
Peter’s time was more an era than just a few terms
Pulling it all together like one else can?
Of course he did it -- Peter Jenni is the man.
(John)You’re up, Matteo!

[short beat break (4-count)]

(Matteo Cavalli-Sforza)
As the building of ATLAS moved into production
Two thirds of the magnets were under construction
While ATLAS soon worried about some delays
We kept pace with the machine, so it turned out okay
The first physics papers were Scientific Notes.
After three CB meetings, confirmed in their votes
The terms of spokespersons had no limit in years
Or else, ten years later, Peter wouldn't be here.
Take it, Jim!

[short beat break (4-count)]

(Jim Pilcher)
Entering two thousand to two-thousand-one
We hit budget constraints and considered operation
Had our first ATLAS week away from CERN
And elected Peter Jenni for another great term
Magnets were the stress -- huge costs, major probs
Companies we'd hired couldn't handle the jobs
But Toshiba succeeded in the solenoid toil
And Dubna and CERN took the BT coil

[short beat break (4-count)]

Chorus (Matteo and Jim)
We’ve been CB chairs, and we’re here to affirm
Peter’s time was more an era than just a few terms
When it came to handling problems like no one else can?
Of course he did it -- Peter Jenni is the man.
(Jim) Bring it, Ken!

[short beat break (4-count)]

(Kenway Smith)
Money money money, we started with a bunch
More problems in construction brought our first major crunch
Imposed new constraints, an .initial. design,
Meant the need for staged upgrades added on down the line
The institutes that formed the ATLAS collaboration
Would continue to pay an annual capitation
While the LHC Grid project initiation
Led to increased activity in physics simulation
You’re on, Siggi!

[short beat break (4-count)]

(Siggi Bethke)
The CB showed a knack for heated discussion
Making decisions on how ATLAS would function
Policy on publication was formed in parts
Just as the plans for when data-taking would start
When the time came to vote for spokesman or spokeswoman
We chose to elect our dude Peter yet again
Of our detector’s majesty, we got our first taste
With eight toroid coils underground and in place

[short beat break (4-count)]

Chorus (Kenway and Siggi)
We’ve been CB chairs, and we’re here to affirm
Peter’s time was more an era than just a few terms
Handling financial troubles like no one else can?
Of course he did it -- Peter Jenni is the man.
(Siggi) You’re on, Chris!

[short beat break (4-count)]

(Chris Oram)
The most important decision when the CB consult-ed
Was how ATLAS would approve physics results
We decided on how we’d run during operation
And it’s open to change by the collaboration
The office of the DG tried to impose
A dollar-weighting system on our CB votes
We said no way! Though we didn’t mean to snub him
OTSMOU and POTS were started by Norman McCubbin
(Chris) Say it, Kerstin!

[short beat break (4-count)]

(Kerstin Jon-And)
We had Milestone Weeks to test the detector
And Full Dress Rehearsals to be sure that each sector
Was working as it should, from hardware to computing
And meanwhile ATLAS was still recruiting
New physicists to join, one-sixty-nine institutions
As the LHC prep approached its conclusion
And we saw the first beam, read the first splash events
We smoothly changed our plans after the Incident

[short beat break (4-count)]

Chorus (Chris and Kerstin)
We’ve been CB chairs, and we’re here to affirm
Peter’s time was more an era than just a few terms
Facing politics like no one else can?
Of course he did it -- Peter Jenni is the man.
(Kerstin) Bring us home, Greg!

[short beat break (4-count)]

(Gregor Herten)
Peter laid the foundations for our future success,
Led over sixteen years of ATLAS progress,
And as he bids farewell to his spokesperson role
We cheer that our detector is now working and whole
As the collaboration moves into data taking mode
To discover new physics somewhere down that road
After years of meetings and years of reports
Now we say “Thanks Peter” for all of your efforts
Everybody now!

[short beat break (4-count)]

Chorus (everybody!)
We’ve been CB chairs, and we’re here to affirm
Peter’s time was more an era than just a few terms
Leading ATLAS to completion like no one else can?
Of course he did it -- Peter Jenni is the man.

 

Katie McAlpine

ATLAS e-News